Can you believe it's September already!? A lot of you will be starting your new school or even University. As excited as you are I'm sure you've got those butterflies that are flying around and around in your stomach! We've all been there. However it's possible that some of you may encounter another emotion which you can't really explain, an emotion called anxiety.
Anxiety is something that anyone can suffer from at any stage in their life. I personally began suffering from it in September 2012. I thought I would share my experiences and my coping mechanisms in this blogpost to help those who are suffering as it's not something people should cope with alone.
If you read my Graduation post you'll remember me saying that I dropped out of University and then re-applied to do the course that I really wanted to do. Once I started my dream course, this is when I started to develop anxiety.
My first week at University was over and I absolutely loved it. I loved what I was learning, I had met some great friends and had amazing tutors. I was so happy and proud of myself that I went with my gut and dropped out the year before. I remember waiting for the bus home, and that's when I started to have an awful tight feeling in my chest. "Must be heartburn" I said to myself. I still had this tight chest feeling over the weekend so I decided to get some heartburn tablets, which did not stop the pain...
A couple of weeks later, I found it difficult to sleep properly. I would drift off to sleep but then before I could fully get to sleep I would feel this falling sensation which made me jolt and wake up straight away. The only way I can explain it is that there was an electric current in my brain that sent a shock straight to my chest to cause this falling sensation.
Me being me I began to look up my symptoms online. This is the worst thing you could do! Do not do it! All sorts of illnesses come up which you more than likely do not have. Through doing this I developed health anxiety. I managed to convince myself that I had some terrible illnesses so much so that I kept going backwards and forwards the doctors for a check ups. Each week I was worried that i had a different illness to the week before. The doctors couldn't find anything wrong with me, which annoyed me because I was experiencing all of these strange feelings.
I then started to have panic attacks and insomnia which made studying extremely hard as I felt exhausted all the time. After many many many trips (too many) to the doctors, they told me that I had anxiety. A lot of people tend to confuse anxiety with 'worry' or 'stress'. It is completely different. It is something which takes over your entire body and mind and can take a while to overcome.
You might have panic attacks, sweats, shakes, headaches, neck aches, tight chest, muscle tension, become irritable, suffer from insomnia, feel as though you've lost control, feel depressed, feel as though the situation you're in isn't real, like you're in a dream (this one in particular freaked me out the most!).
Firstly it's important to find the root cause. This is something which I found particularly difficult to do as I was happy with my life and what I was doing at University so I couldn't pin point what caused me to develop anxiety. This then made it 100 times more frustrating to deal with!
After an in-depth talk with the doctor, we managed to work out why I was feeling like I was. Obviously dropping out of University the year before was a stressful time. Only 2 months after this I sadly lost my Granddad to cancer which hit me hard like a ton of bricks. Both of these stressful events happened so close together and I never really allowed myself to grieve properly.
Anxiety was my body and mind's way of saying, you've been strong for too long, it's time to let it all go, it's time to grieve.
Once I knew why I was feeling like I was, I decided to get some help from a councillor who I saw once a week for 3 months. Although I have the most supportive family in the world and they helped me so so much, it was only the councillor who taught me coping mechanisms. She taught me breathing techniques and to write down all of my worries, burn them and watch them disappear. It was also nice to talk to someone in private and to get everything off of my chest knowing that whatever was said in that room, stayed there.
When my time with the councillor was over, I felt so much more in control of my anxiety. If I ever had a panic attack, I would be able to recognise that it was OK to feel how I was feeling, it was just a little panic attack and that it would soon pass.
If you think you're suffering from anxiety I would recommend speaking to someone. You shouldn't be suffering on your own. Speak to anyone you feel close to. Go to the doctors just to put your mind at rest and seek help from professionals such as councillors.
I wouldn't say I have completely got over my anxiety, I'm not sure anyone ever does. I still have a little panic attack once in a while. What's important is that we know how to deal with it and not to let it take over our lives. It's also important to not push ourselves too hard at school or work. While the body and mind are incredible things they can be fragile, it's important to let them rest when they need to.
There are many forms of anxiety and it comes with many symptoms. Someone may experience different anxiety symptoms from someone else. If you click on the images in this post they will take you to other blogs or articles about anxiety that might help you.
If you have any questions about anxiety and coping mechanisms, feel free to comment below. I'm not a professional in any way shape or form, but I've been there. It always helps to speak to someone that has been in the same position as you as it's only them that comes close to understanding how you're feeling and what you're going through.
I hoped this has helped and I apologise for the essay! x
