Dealing with Anxiety

Can you believe it's September already!? A lot of you will be starting your new school or even University. As excited as you are I'm sure you've got those butterflies that are flying around and around in your stomach! We've all been there. However it's possible that some of you may encounter another emotion which you can't really explain, an emotion called anxiety.

Anxiety is something that anyone can suffer from at any stage in their life. I personally began suffering from it in September 2012. I thought I would share my experiences and my coping mechanisms in this blogpost to help those who are suffering as it's not something people should cope with alone.  

If you read my Graduation post you'll remember me saying that I dropped out of University and then re-applied to do the course that I really wanted to do. Once I started my dream course, this is when I started to develop anxiety. 

My first week at University was over and I absolutely loved it. I loved what I was learning, I had met some great friends and had amazing tutors. I was so happy and proud of myself that I went with my gut and dropped out the year before. I remember waiting for the bus home, and that's when I started to have an awful tight feeling in my chest. "Must be heartburn" I said to myself. I still had this tight chest feeling over the weekend so I decided to get some heartburn tablets, which did not stop the pain...

A couple of weeks later, I found it difficult to sleep properly. I would drift off to sleep but then before I could fully get to sleep I would feel this falling sensation which made me jolt and wake up straight away. The only way I can explain it is that there was an electric current in my brain that sent a shock straight to my chest to cause this falling sensation.

Me being me I began to look up my symptoms online. This is the worst thing you could do! Do not do it! All sorts of illnesses come up which you more than likely do not have. Through doing this I developed health anxiety. I managed to convince myself that I had some terrible illnesses so much so that I kept going backwards and forwards the doctors for a check ups. Each week I was worried that i had a different illness to the week before. The doctors couldn't find anything wrong with me, which annoyed me because I was experiencing all of these strange feelings.

I then started to have panic attacks and insomnia which made studying extremely hard as I felt exhausted all the time. After many many many trips (too many) to the doctors, they told me that I had anxiety. A lot of people tend to confuse anxiety with 'worry' or 'stress'. It is completely different. It is something which takes over your entire body and mind and can take a while to overcome.

You might have panic attacks, sweats, shakes, headaches, neck aches, tight chest, muscle tension, become irritable, suffer from insomnia, feel as though you've lost control, feel depressed, feel as though the situation you're in isn't real, like you're in a dream (this one in particular freaked me out the most!).

Firstly it's important to find the root cause. This is something which I found particularly difficult to do as I was happy with my life and what I was doing at University so I couldn't pin point what caused me to develop anxiety. This then made it 100 times more frustrating to deal with!

After an in-depth talk with the doctor, we managed to work out why I was feeling like I was. Obviously dropping out of University the year before was a stressful time. Only 2 months after this I sadly lost my Granddad to cancer which hit me hard like a ton of bricks. Both of these stressful events happened so close together and I never really allowed myself to grieve properly. 

Anxiety was my body and mind's way of saying, you've been strong for too long, it's time to let it all go, it's time to grieve. 

Once I knew why I was feeling like I was, I decided to get some help from a councillor who I saw once a week for 3 months. Although I have the most supportive family in the world and they helped me so so much, it was only the councillor who taught me coping mechanisms. She taught me breathing techniques and to write down all of my worries, burn them and watch them disappear. It was also nice to talk to someone in private and to get everything off of my chest knowing that whatever was said in that room, stayed there. 

When my time with the councillor was over, I felt so much more in control of my anxiety. If I ever had a panic attack, I would be able to recognise that it was OK to feel how I was feeling, it was just a little panic attack and that it would soon pass. 

If you think you're suffering from anxiety I would recommend speaking to someone. You shouldn't be suffering on your own. Speak to anyone you feel close to. Go to the doctors just to put your mind at rest and seek help from professionals such as councillors. 

I wouldn't say I have completely got over my anxiety, I'm not sure anyone ever does. I still have a little panic attack once in a while. What's important is that we know how to deal with it and not to let it take over our lives. It's also important to not push ourselves too hard at school or work. While the body and mind are incredible things they can be fragile, it's important to let them rest when they need to. 

There are many forms of anxiety and it comes with many symptoms. Someone may experience different anxiety symptoms from someone else. If you click on the images in this post they will take you to other blogs or articles about anxiety that might help you.

If you have any questions about anxiety and coping mechanisms, feel free to comment below. I'm not a professional in any way shape or form, but I've been there. It always helps to speak to someone that has been in the same position as you as it's only them that comes close to understanding how you're feeling and what you're going through.

I hoped this has helped and I apologise for the essay! x

Chocolate and Coca-Cola Cake

It's Bank Holiday Monday and Nathan and I decided to spend it by going shopping followed by making this yummy Chocolate and Coca-Cola cake! Here's the recipe if you'd like to try it out for yourself :) 

For the cake mix you will need: 

250g of Butter

250g Self-raising Flour 

300g Golden Caster Sugar

3 big tbsp of Cocoa Powder

A pinch of Bicarbonate of Soda

200ml Coca-Cola drink

75ml Milk

2 Eggs 

1tsp Vanilla Extract  

For the topping you will need: 

60g Butter 

200g Icing Sugar 

2-3 tbsp Cocoa Powder

2 tbsp Coca-Cola drink 

Cake Mix

Step 1: Pre-heat your oven to 180°C/350°F/ Gas mark 4. 

Step 2: Grease your cake tin(s) with butter. It's probably a good idea to use greaseproof paper as we had some difficulties getting the cakes out of the tin once they were cooked! 

Step 3: Sift the flour into a mixing bowl followed by the 300g of golden caster sugar.

Step 4: Add in the 3 big tbsp of Cocoa powder and then add in a generous pinch of Bicarbonate of soda. 

Step 5: Melt 250g of butter in a pan and add in 200ml of Coca-Cola, stir well until mixed and then add this to your mixing bowl that's filled with the dry ingredients. 

Step 6: Beat 2 eggs in a small bowl and add this to the main mixing bowl.

Step 7: Add in the 75ml of milk  and the 1tsp of vanilla extract. 

Step 8: Now that all of your ingredients have been added to the bowl you need to carefully mix them all together until smooth. 

Step 9: Pour your cake mixture in your cake tin(s) and cook for around 40 minutes. 

Topping

Step 1: To make the topping, cream 60g of butter.

Step 2: Mix in 2-3 tbsp of cocoa powder along with the 200g of icing sugar. Add the icing sugar in a little at a time as it can get quite messy when it comes to mixing! 

Step 3: Add in 2tbsp of Coca-cola and mix together well until a creamy and smooth topping is made. 

Step 4: Once your cake is cooled cover it in the topping and it should then look a little something like this... 

And there you have it, one yummy scrummy Chocolate and Coca-Cola Cake!

Enjoy!

My Trip to North Wales

Having worked weekends for the past 4 years, I'm so happy that now I've started my full time job, I've got my weekends back! :) 

So, last weekend was my first weekend off in a while and I spent it by taking a trip to Chirk, North Wales to visit my boyfriend Nathan's family.

We set off at around 7:30 Friday evening and didn't arrive until 11pm but we had a fun filled journey with our playlist blearing, singing at the top of our voices! 

As fun as our car journey was, after a long and tiring first week at work I was glad to get into bed for a snooze.

Saturday morning we were up and out of the house early and drove to Ludlow to meet up with Nathan's brother, sister-in-law and gorgeous 8 month old nephew who is growing so fast!

When we got there we sat in a lovely little coffee shop for a drink and plenty of baby cuddles :)

We took a stroll in the sunshine around the market and up and down the streets. I love old fashioned buildings and quaint villages so this was the perfect place for me. It was quite busy yet still had a lovely peaceful atmosphere which was nice. 

We went to a restaurant where I had the best super salad ever! It had cajun chicken, beetroot, butternut squash, lettuce and sun dried tomatoes! I also had a glass of white wine.. Can't forget the wine! 

We then said our goodbyes to Nathan's brother and sister-in-law and little baby Elis and headed back to Chirk and went to visit Nathan's other brother and his wife in a cute little pub not too far away. This was then followed by a visit to another pub in Chirk to meet up with a couple of Nathan's friends. 

Sunday was more of a chilled out day. It was a lovely sunny morning so we decided to take the dog, Freckles out for a walk. We then spent the afternoon visiting Nathan's lovely Nan and Grandma followed by a yummy scrummy roast dinner.

Before we knew it, after a hectic but beautiful weekend it was time for us to make the 3/4 hour drive back home ready for work Monday morning. 

Working in the city amongst the hustle and bustle can be so tiring so it's nice to get a bit of peace and quiet in the Welsh countryside just to recharge the batteries. Before I met Nathan I had never been to Wales before. I'm so glad I now have the opportunity to visit there as often as we can. Chester and Liverpool are also fairly close to Chirk and are both definitely worth a visit too!

Banana and Oreo Ice Cream by Buzzfeed

Being a banana ice cream lover, this recipe by Buzzfeed caught my eye straight away so I thought I'd give it a go :) 

You will need: 

• 4 Bananas 
• 1 Packet of Oreos 
• Blender
• Knife
• Small Food Bag 
• Container that you can put in the freezer 

(4 bananas and 1 packet of Oreos was enough to make a small tub, so you will obviously need to increase the number of bananas and Oreos you use if you want more yummy yummy ice cream)  

Step 1: Cut up the bananas into small chunks and blend them until smooth.

Step 2: Put the Oreos into a small food bag and crush them a little, just to make it easier during the next step.

Step 3: Poor the crushed Oreo pieces into the blender (with the bananas) and blend again until smooth.

Step 4: Once the mixture is fully blended together pour into a plastic container. 

Step 5: Put into the freezer for about 2-3 hours.

Step 6: Scoop into a bowl and enjoy! :) 

Buzzfeed also recommend other second ingredients such as peanut butter or chocolate chips. To be honest you can probably add anything that you think would compliment the banana. You could also keep it really simple and just stick to banana on it's own :) 

I'd love to hear about your favourite ice cream flavours or if you have tried this recipe! Comment below! :) 

Les Misérables Review

Living so close to London, I have been lucky enough over the years to see a lot of West End shows. The first one I saw when I was young was Beauty and the Beast at the Dominion Theatre which was amazing! It was my favourite film as a child and the show really brought it to life. I loved it! Unfortunately it is no longer touring in London, boo :( 

Other shows I've seen include Mary Poppins, The Wizard of Oz, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Thriller, Hairspray and Grease which again were all great. In more recent years I have seen Wicked, Billy Elliot and The Lion King. In my opinion these 3 are an absolute must see! 

This year, Cameron Mackintosh's Les Misérables is the musical which I have become... shall we say slightly obsessed with! I saw the film when it was released and thought that it was amazing but the show never really appealed to me. I'd heard good reviews however the fact that it was 3 hours long did put me off slightly. 

However, myself and my sister were given tickets by our parents as a birthday present. We went to see the show back in May 2015 at the Queen's Theatre and loved it so much that we went to see it again on Wednesday night, dragging my boyfriend along too! 

The music itself is absolutely incredible! It brings goosebumps to your skin and tears to your eyes. As for the cast, words cannot describe how talented they all are. On both visits to the show Peter Lockyer played the role of  Jean Valjean who's performance brought me to tears! Unfortunately on Wednesday he had to leave after the first act. His understudy, Adam Bayjou took over during the second act and gave an incredible performance too! Carrie Hope Fletcher and Rob Houchen also did a fantastic job of playing the roles of Éponine and Marius. 

The theatre itself is quite intimate which is perfect for this type of show as you really do feel as though you're part of it. The cast do a fantastic job of grasping your full attention with their performances. Everyone was so engaged with what was going on, you could almost hear a pin drop.

You experience so many emotions during this show. At times you'll be crying however there are a few funny parts in there too. Phil Daniels has taken on the role of Thénardier who's character will definitely have you laughing!

The show ended with a well deserved standing ovation from the audience. I again, along with many others, left the theatre in tears but I could have quite easily sat there for another 3 hours and watched it all over again! So don't let the fact that it's 3 hours put you off. It is worth every single minute of your time there!

On the way to the station we also managed to get a photo with Rob Houchen (Marius). After a day of performing two shows he was still more than happy to have a photo with us, showing that Les Mis has such a lovely and humble cast. 

It sounds silly but I have seen negative reviews of this show with people saying they were disappointed with the amount of singing in the show. So yes, here's the warning... if you don't like shows where there's constant singing and no dialogue then maybe this isn't the show for you. 

However, I would strongly recommend this show. I can definitely understand why it has been running for 30 years! Please be aware that the cast changes so don't forget to check the performers' holiday dates on their official websites. You'll still be singing the songs days and days after you've seen it. It's now up there at the top of my favourite musical list. It even got the seal of approval from the boyfriend too :)

Life After Graduation: Hire Me!

I thought I would write a blog post about what happens once you have finished University as not many people really tell you what to expect. 

I stayed at home with my family whilst studying my degree, which meant that I didn't have the stress or upset of leaving housemates behind. That's not to say that I won't miss the girls who I spent every day at Uni with, because I will! I know a few of my friends found it difficult saying goodbye to those people that they had lived with and studied with, but don't fret! Although you won't be with them day in day out like you used to be, you will make the effort to keep in contact, and will continue to meet up for gossipy dinners and crazy nights out.

Even though I was in the comfort of my own home I still had this very strange feeling inside of me. "What now?" I kept asking myself. It sounds strange but I felt completely lost and useless. I almost felt guilty sitting at home not doing much. I'd normally be working on Uni reports or presentations but now I was slouching on the sofa watching daytime TV thinking to myself "I can't handle watching Jeremy Kyle for much longer, I need a job!" 

Luckily I had a part time job and took lots of overtime on which helped keep me occupied and made me feel like I actually had a purpose. While I was grateful for this job and loved the people I worked with, I knew that I had to start applying for full time positions which would help kick start my career in the industry that I have always wanted to get into. The jobs were not going to come to me!

So, that's exactly what I did. I had a few knock backs along the way, which is to be expected! It's a highly competitive market out there! Don't be disheartened if your job application gets turned down. Keep your head up, stay positive, and apply for lots more. 

Whilst at lunch one day I received a phone call from a company that I had applied to. I was so happy that someone thought my CV was good enough to consider. They invited me to meet with them for an interview which I was very excited about but obviously very nervous about too!

If you get an interview, well done to you! This is the first step. As nervous as you may feel, there are steps you should take to help relieve this feeling. 

• First, make sure you Google Maps where the interview is being held. Plan your journey in advance. Don't leave it until the morning of the interview as this will make you more anxious. 
• Look up typical interview questions on the Internet and make sure you have a solid answer for each one. Within your answers make sure your skills and knowledge are being demonstrated. Try to also link answers to the role you are applying for. 
• Research the company and have questions ready! This is so important. By researching the company and asking questions shows that you are passionate about the role that you're applying for. 

On the day of the interview make sure you: 

• Dress appropriately (no shorts or flip flops!) 
• Remain calm 
• Greet them with a firm handshake, keep eye contact and smileeeee :)
• Speak clearly and slowly 
• Be aware of your body language. If you sit with your arms folded they may feel that you are uncomfortable in the situation you're in or have something to hide. 

Phew! You made it through the interview. Try not to think about it too much now. What's done is done, there's nothing else you can do. The company will contact you to tell you how you did and whether you have the job or not. It's important to take on any constructive criticism. 

If they offer you the position, great news! Well done! If they don't, that is completely fine too. You did your best and that is all you can do. Ask for feedback on how you could improve next time. Again don't be disheartened, keep applying for other roles and practice for future interviews, there will be more I promise. 

I am pleased to say that the company that I applied to, offered me the position and I am looking forward to starting my new job next week! :) 

So, to summarise... When you've completed Uni you may feel lost, upset, confused and depressed. That is completely OK. They are all normal feelings. It might be a good idea to take a break before applying for jobs to avoid feeling completely overwhelmed. 

I'd like to finish by saying Good Luck with any jobs you apply for! If you really want something it is only YOU who can make it happen. So, go out and chase your dreams!

All photos in this post were sourced from articles that you may find useful too. Just give them a click! 

If you enjoyed this post or would like to share the feelings you had once you left uni or you would like to share the experiences you had when applying for your first job, please comment below :) 

I've Graduated!

Monday 13th July arrived! It was the day that I had dreamt of ever since I started my degree at University, Graduation Day! 

When I first started University I enrolled on a Graphic Design course however after a couple of months I soon realised that it wasn't for me. I became very stressed and upset that I wasn't enjoying myself and began to panic about what I was going to do!

Ever since doing work experience in an Advertising and Marketing department when I was 16 I knew this was the industry that I would like to break into. Unfortunately they don't teach you much about this subject at Secondary school or Sixth Form therefore I ended up going down the Graphic Design route.

I soon realised that Greenwich University offered a fantastic Advertising and Marketing Course. One day I went to see the programme leader and tried to transfer onto this course however unsurprisingly it was full. They could see how passionate I was about this subject and could see how unhappy I was with the course I was on and therefore recommended that I stopped the Graphics degree, took a year out and reapply for the course I so desperately wanted to take.

On this same day there were students graduating in Advertising and Marketing, and that's when I knew straight away, I want to be one of those people. I want to achieve a degree in that subject. So, as stressful as it was, I stopped the Graphics Design degree and reapplied.

I was sooooo happy to find out that I had got a place on the Advertising and Marketing course. It truly was a great course with amazing tutors who would help you as much as they physically could. I could not thank them enough for all they did for me throughout my degree.

So, the day had finally arrived. It was my turn to graduate with my family beside me and all of my lovely friends I had made during my time at University.

It was such a magical day. To be honest with you, I felt like it was my wedding day! I was quite anxious in the morning however once I got my gown and mortarboard on I felt so excited and proud. I cannot tell you how many photos were taken. Let's just say it was a lot! Now I know how celebrities feel on the red carpet!

I could not be more proud to say that I graduated from one of London's top Universities and also a World Heritage site. Not many people can say they graduated from the film set of Pirates of the Caribbean 4, Thor 2 and Les Misérables! (to name a few...) 

I'm going to wrap up this blog post by saying thank you to my family, my lovely boyfriend and my amazing friends and tutors for their continuous support throughout my degree and for sharing this special day with me :)